Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
