I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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