i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
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