Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
