I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
