All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
