Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
