ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
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