you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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