why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
