Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Randomize