obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
