I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
