Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize