mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
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