omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Randomize