I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Will exercising make me less horny?
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
