I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
