It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
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