I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
