So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
