You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Randomize
