Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
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