Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
