He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
