You really coming over, don't trick.
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
