The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
