well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
