Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
