I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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