hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
