I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
