I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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