do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Randomize