just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize