they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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