It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
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