I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Randomize
