We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
