Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
