It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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