So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
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