I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Randomize
