So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Randomize
