Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Randomize
