dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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