First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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