Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
