1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I want to stick my p in your. b.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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