dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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