Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
