are you still at the devil's house?
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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