She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize
