$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
