We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Randomize
