Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I need moral support for this bender
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
