you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
