we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
they need to just BURY HIM!
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
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