Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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