Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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