We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
