Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
