I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Randomize
