I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Randomize
