batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
