She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
My pussy is not your playground.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize