I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
