why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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