I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
pray to the hookup gods
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Randomize
